THE THINGS YOU REMEMBER

My dentist Dr. Montague (coolest Dentist in Toronto) pointed out the "THINGS WE REMEMBER" to me at a recent appointment.  I had a crown lengthening procedure done to prepare a tooth and the gums around a tooth for a crown.  Dr. Lenga performed the procedure.  I didn't remember the discomfort, the stitches in my mouth, not being able to chew on my right side. What I did remember was that Dr. Lenga phoned me at 8pm the evening of the procedure to see how I was feeling.

I've been frequenting the neighborhood Starbucks regularly over the past 4 weeks since I started my Master's studies.  This morning I didn't have to communicate my order, the pleasant coffee technician who makes my beverage of choice with care and precision, called out my order once I stepped in line. 

Think about the things you remember about experiences.  Then compare that to what you spend time focussing on in your daily life.  Is there a connection?  Are they in line?

10 KEYS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING

How well do you listen? 

Listening involves the skill of grasping and interpreting a message's genuine meaning.  Remember that message reception is a vital link in the communication process. 

1. Listen Actively - Ask questions; paraphrase what is said
2. Find areas of interest - Look for opportunities, new learning
3. Resist distractions - Fight distractions; tolerated bad habits; know how to concentrate
4. Capitalize on the fact that thought is faster than speech - Challenge, anticipate, summarize; listen between lines to tone of voice
5. Be responsive - Nod; show interest, positive feedback
6. Judge content, not delivery - Judge content; skip over delivery a errors
7. Hold one's fire - Does not judge until comprehension is complete
8. Listen for ideas - Listens to sentral themes
9. Work at listening - Work hard; exhibit active body state, eye contact
10. Exercise one's mind - Use heavier material as exercise for the mind

Source: Adapted from Sherman Okum, "How to Be a Better Listener", Nation's Business (August 1975)

LEADER: A COMMUNICATION CHAMPION

Leaders need to be a communication champion who enable followers to "live" the vision in their day-to-day activities.

A blind man was brought to the hospital.  He was both depressed and seriously ill.  He shared a room with another man and one day asked, "What is going on outside?"  The man in the other bed explained in some detail about the sunshine, the gusty winds, and the people walking along the sidewalk. 

The next day, the blind man again asked, "Please tell me what is going on outside today."  The roommate responded with a story about the activities in a park across the way, the ducks on the pond and the people feeding them. 

The third day and each day thereafter for two weeks, the blind man asked about the world outside and the other man answer, describing a different scene.  The blind man enjoyed these talks, and he grew happier learning about the world seen through the windo.

Then the blind man's roommate was discharged from the hospital.  A new roommate was wheeled in, a tough-minded businessman who felt terrible, but wanted to get work done.  The next morning, the blind man said, "Will you please tell me what is going on outside?" The businessman didn't feel well and de didn't want to be bothered to tell stories to a blind man.  So he responded assertively, "What do you mean? I can't see outside.  There is no window here.  It's only a wall."

The blind man again became depressed and a few days later he took a turn for the worse and was moved to intensive care.

Source:  The Leadership Experience, Richard L. Daft 5e

FAIL HARDER

A colleague informed me that "FAIL HARDER" is one of the motivational motto's at Facebook.  This is an organization that values creativity and understands how to get it. 

Jeffery Gandz shares his opinions on "Leader Breaders" and treating failure as learning in his June 30 Globe and Mail adaptation from the Ivey Business Journal.

Leader breeders hate to fail - but also learn to treat failure as a learning experience.  With greater challenge comes greater risk of failure.  High potentials, setting stretch goals, are going to fail and it is how that failure is addressed that will make a difference in developing leaders.

Where failure is punished or blame is thrown around, little is learned.  People get defensive, avoid setting stretch goals and play in their personal safety zones.

There are, or course, some limits to failure as learning.  Smart people are not expected to make the same mistake twice; fatal errors tend to attract more blame than those that result in less drastic consequences; and failures that identify personally unacceptable behaviours, such as laziness, carelessness, lack of integrity or personally self-serving behaviours, tend to be treated differently.  This is acceptable within a leadership-development culture.