GROWTH MINDSET, FIXED MINDSET

Growth Mindset: "I believe in you"; "There is a way"; "I just need time to figure out how to make the
connection necessary to drive the learning of those I serve"; "I haven't figured it out yet"

Fixed Mindset: "You're not good enough"; "They're not good enough"; "They will never get it".

Growth Mindset drives solutions focused curiosity to figure out how to facilitate the growth of those you serve.  Growth Mindset drives motivation in those you serve.

Fixed Mindset drives unconcern for a solution, by placing the responsibility for a solution fully on the follower, absolving the leader from any accountability in the growth process.  Drives apathy in those you serve.

Carol Dweck is brilliant at pulling back the curtain on Mindset and Motivation in her TedTalk "The power of yet".  Watch it and let me know how Dweck's presentation influences your leadership.

IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD...

Admiral William H. McRaven lays it down!  If you want to change the world...

1. Start each day with a task completed
2. Find someone to help you through life.
3. Respect everyone.
4. Know that life is not fair
5. Know you will fail often.
6. Take some risks.
7. Step up when the times are toughest.
8. Face down the bullies.
9. Lift the downtrodden.
10. Never, ever give up.

Hook 'Em Horns!!!

MISTAKE RESPONSE

Sunday was my Son's recital.  Its always fun to watch all the piano and guitar students perform a
wide array of songs.

We always encourage Tobias to do his best and work through mistakes.  While it would be nice if Tobias became a concert pianist, that is not our focus.  Our focus is that Tobias have fun, work hard to be his personal best, learn to work through adversity and stay focused on the task and solutions even when things don't go as planned.

Tobias practiced his songs everyday for the past few months.  He performed the tunes perfectly in rehearsal.  He was so confident that right before the start of the recital Tobias asked his piano teach Graham if he could perform an additional song.  In his excitement to perform, he made some mistakes.  Watch the videos below (first the rehearsal, then the actual performance) and observe his mistake response.  He doesn't miss a beat!! He goes right on as if no mistake was made.  He solves the problem and successfully performs all three songs.  Interestingly enough, most of the students had little hiccups in their performances.  What impressed me most was how all of them worked through the little problems and persevered and accomplished the task.  They demonstrated a great mistake response.

How do you respond and react when you make mistakes?  How do you respond and react when your constituents make errors?  What can you learn from the attached mistake response from this seven year old boy?

Deeper question, how has your discomfort with making mistakes affected the goals you have pursued in life?

WHY GOOD LEADERS MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE

What is it that good leaders do that makes followers perform at a high level for the organization?  

Simon Sinek nails it when he says that "Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe".  In this TED talk, Sinek enlightens us on how followers feeling safe inspires collaboration and looking out for each other.  When followers feel threatened, it's every person for themselves and employees do not work together to drive organizational or team objectives.  Sinek shares some best practices of how some organizations have walked the talk of ensuring everyone feels safe.  Sinek also shares the transformational results those organizations have realized.

EVERYDAY LEADERSHIP - LOLLIPOP MOMENTS

Drew Dudley de-mistifies leadership in his TEDxToronto Talk about Everyday Leadership.  The biggest takeaways from his talk is that leadership is not something that you will do when you get older or when you get a title.  It's not something that is so far off that "some day I'll get to it".  Leadership is something all of us can practice everyday through seemingly insignificant acts.  Everyday leadership is demonstrated through acts of kindness like saying "hello" or "thank you".  Everyday Leadership is demonstrated through acts of empathy like offering your seat on the bus to senior citizen.

I teach a college leadership course and am invited to facilitate leadership workshops at different institutions.  While I believe in all the evidence based research about leadership, at the end of the day seemingly insignificant acts of kindness, empathy or connection can have significant influence on a person and inspire them to achieve goals.  The goal doesn't have to be life altering, but can be a goal associated with a general goal in life to like enjoying ones day.

Lately I've been leading off my classes by asking students how they practiced Everyday Leadership over the last week or how someone demonstrated Everyday Leadership towards them.  Drew Dudley calls the product of Everyday Leadership a "Lollipop Moment".  Today a student shared his "Lollipop Moment" when the bus driver let him on the bus even though the student didn't have the money to pay the fare.  The bus driver even gave the student a transfer, in the event that the student needed to change buses at any point.  My students are now doing little things like greeting me when I enter the classroom and asking me about my weekend (I identified this behaviour as a lollipop moment for me, so now they do it every class).  Leadership is a skill.  Like any skill it needs to be practiced to be developed.  I used Drew Dudley's video in my first class of the semester to help students understand that they can practice leadership everyday and improve skills and their awareness of leadership moments.

This week I had a BIG lollipop moment that is really worth acknowledgement.  In a moment of rushing I left my Ipad on a desk in the gymnasium at a local high school I was visiting last week.  I realized my mistake the next morning.  I phoned the school and even drove up to ask any of the custodians if they'd seen my Ipad.  But no luck.  I was disappointed in myself all weekend for my careless action.  Monday morning I received a phone call from the custodian, Ayaz, who was on staff on friday night when I left my Ipad at the school.  In a nice message left on my cell phone he informed me that he found my Ipad in the gym on friday night when doing his final rounds, before leaving the school.  He was in a rush to get home that night, so he put the Ipad in his locker with the intension of calling me first thing Monday morning, which he did.  This was a super-sized lollipop moment.  These acts of "Everyday Leadership" set the example for people and inspire them to act in similar ways.

Have you had any "Lollipop Moments" this week?

WALKING WITH MY DAD

I conducted a little informal experiment recently after observing parents walking with their kids.  I will often see parents walking at a speed faster than their children.  The child has the option of keeping up by walking uncomfortably fast or walking at their preferred speed and lagging behind.

I recreated this scenario with my son.  I would walk at my preferred pace ahead of my son and implore him to keep up.  My son would make a conscious effort to keep up.  He would catch up, then slow down and lag behind and then catch up again.  He would continue this pattern until we reached our destination as long as I was barking at him to keep up.  

I tried the another scenario where I did the same thing, except this time did not offer any instruction about keeping up with me.  In this situation I would walk at my preferred pace and he would walk at his.  I would understandably walk faster than him and the gap between the two of us would grow.

Finally I decided to slow down and meet my son where he was and walking at his pace.  I held his hand and we walked together.  I observed something interesting. Once I slowed down and held his hand, he actually walked faster.  Not at my pace, but at a pace faster than he did when I wasn't holding his hand.  I was walking slower than my natural pace, but not as slow as I would be if I had slowed down completely to his speed.  We were clearly walking together.

This experience spotlighted a noteworthy approach to leadership.  We often spend too much time identifying and focusing on the gaps between where our constituents are and where we want them to be ie. the distance between my son and I walking at our preferred speed.  We share this gap focus with our constituents in the form of feedback. You're walking too slow! You need to walk faster! Keep up! The speed at which you walk is not good enough or fast enough!  However an incredible phenomenon happens when we meet people where they are, and hold their hand to move them forward.  Holding someones hand is an analogy for creating a relationship with a constituent.  It's saying we're going to work together to facilitate your growth. It's saying I'm going to take the time to learn about you and understand you without judgement and without any other motive.  It's an understanding that such a relationship drives permission to influence from the constituent to the leader, so that the leader can influence and stretch the follower to walk a bit faster.  Or in another situation, context or environment, to grow.  Not necessarily at the speed of the leader, but at a greater speed than when their was no relationship, no influence, no meeting the constituent where they are and no empathy.

Focus on the gaps simply drives focus on what a constituent is not, where they are not and sometimes even why they are not.  Influential relationships take the constituents to a new place, just beyond their current place of existence, skill and strength level.  This moves our intention to facilitating progress and growth.

WHAT THE SAN ANTONIO SPURS TAUGHT US ABOUT LEADERSHIP

The San Antonio Spurs put on a clinic in the 2014 NBA playoffs.  A leadership clinic that is. I see so many
things through the lens of leadership.  Every team in the NBA, just like most organizations, is looking for the next great player who can do it all.  A Lebron James who is freakishly athletic, multi skilled and without question the best player on the planet. NBA teams are trying to draft this player, just as corporations are trying to hire this person.  Corporations want the employee who works 60 - 80 hours a week, see's all and do all.  This employee can cover the weaknesses of other employees (especially the leader) and the organization as a whole.  Having this employee or even better a "big three" of these employees makes life easier on the leader.  Why?  Because the leader doesn't really have to lead.

Now let's take a look at the Spurs.  This a team of players who each have an area of strength, but I would argue that there is not one player on the team who can do it all.  Think about it, how often do we come across someone who can do it all?  How often do we see someone who can do it all for an entire career, without burning out?  It's a special thing, that's why it's such a big deal when we see it happening.  Usually we are blessed with a team of constituents who may not be "Superman", but all have an area of strength.  The Spurs model, as I see it, identifies the strengths of their players, develops those strengths and then masterfully develops a system where players can work in their area of strength for to drive performance.  The leaders lead by creating an environment where players are appreciated for the strength that they bring and not judged for the tools they don't. If a situation calls for a different strength, the leadership on the team looks to a player or group of players with the skill set and strengths to deliver what the team needs.  

However before any of this can happen, Coach Popovich creates deep relationships with his players.  These relationships develop trust between player and coach.  This trust is the magic ingredient for players to give over power to the coaching staff.  The important part about power is the capacity to influence that is given by the player to the coaching staff.  When people give that capacity to influence to someone, they are saying, I allow you to lead me.  It's one thing to listen to what a coach says, it's an entirely new dimension to allow a coach to influence you.  Influence leads to change. Listening doesn't lead to change with out influence.  Popovich understands the importance of the player coach relationship to facilitate the influence he needs.  All this creates a culture where players are focused on winning.  Everyone in the organization is solution focused in their pursuit of this goal.

Real organizational leadership involves identifying the skill sets and "strength sets" of constituents and working with your team to figure out the best way to use those strengths to drive maximum performance.  Any kind of real leadership need influence and an environment where the seeds of influences have been planted and are always being fertilized.  The San Antonio Spurs aren't sitting around waiting for a Lebron James to drop in their lap.  They are a model of best practice of identifying, developing, leveraging strengths and creating influencing relationships to drive performance.

SHAWN ACHOR: THE HAPPY SECRET TO BETTER WORK

A good friend sent me this great and funny TEDtalks where Shawn Achor absolutely nails the importance of Positive Psychology.  Achor's speaks to the power of Positive Psychology interventions to "change the lens with which we see the world".  Positive Psychology coaches influence your lens by helping clients to identify & develop strengths, drive optimism, hope, perspective, build resilience & grit to drive happiness in all life domains.

Enjoy!

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - INFLUENCE

Over the past few years I have had many conversations with colleagues about frustrations they are having
getting constituents to buy-in. Leadership is the process of influencing a group or person to achieve a (common) goal.  Influence is the key word here.  In order for someone to "buy-in" they must allow me to influence them in a way that will facilitate the desired buy in.  This influence doesn't happen because I say so "Trust me", or because it should be so "That's your job", but rather because the constituents allow it to be so.

Influence is a construct of power.  Power is defined as the capacity to influence.  Power is granted by the constituent to the leader for the following 5 reasons. First, I allow you to influence me based on your position, like a manager or a coach.  This is called Legitimate Power.  Second, I allow you to influence me because I like you. This is called Referent Power.  Third, I allow you to influence me because I believe you to have a relatively high level of knowledge and/or expertise as it pertains to the context of our relationship. This is called Expert Power.  Fourth, I allow you to influence me because you can punish me or take something away of value to me.  This is called Coercive Power.  Fifth, I allow you to influence me because you can offer something that is valuable to me.  This is called Reward Power.  Notice, the term "allow" in each definition.  Power is granted, by the constituent, to the leader on the basis of any one of these dimensions or a combination of any or all of them..  Contrary to popular belief.   Think back to some of the great revolutions in world history.  These happened when the constituent took power back from the leaders and refused to grant power any longer.  Truth is that the power really lies with the constituent.

As it pertains to driving buy-in, I would suggest that telling, setting the example or leading by example do not
drive buy-in the way influencing does.  However, influencing is a lot more work because it requires the development of a relationship.  Any relationship definition you read will include the words connection and emotional.  A relationship requires an emotional connection between two people.  Strong, trusting relationships are based on empathy, and an understanding that you are concerned with my best interest.  This understanding is developed through actions and behaviors that drive empathy and trust.  Constituents want to feel like "You get me"; "I've been heard"; "I've been understood"; "My boss/coach cares about me"; "My boss/coach/teammates is looking out for my best interest"; "It is safe to share important things about me to my boss/coach/teammate".  These are some of the behaviors that drive the development of trusting relationships.   When constituents feel they are in a trusting relationship they give power.  When power is given the environment is now set and the path has been paved to facilitate buy-in.

I will be digging deeper into the research on the drivers and predictors of influence and how to develop ones capacity to influence.  I believe this area of leadership studies is a key to driving buy-in with your constituents.  I look forward to sharing my findings in future posts.

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

So, what do you do for a living?  I am a Positive Psychology Coach, Leadership Coach, Leadership Development Consultant and a Professor of Leadership and Organizational Development.  That's a mouthful!!!

I recently had a conversation with an acquaintance who nearly swallowed his gum when I mentioned Coaching as one of the things I do for a living.  After a short conversation with him, I was reminded about the many misgivings about real Coaching.  I thought I would use this post to explain why people work with coaches, the value I offer to coaching clients and the process I use to drive results.

Why people work with a Coach?

A client works with me because they want to take action towards achieving their goals.  They may feel uncertain of what the next steps are, or are experiencing issues at work, or are going through a transition.  Whatever the issue, they trust me to help them work through it.  I have the benefit of viewing the clients circumstance from a distance, similar to a basketball coach who sees the game from the sideline.  This meta-view facilitates objectivity and perspective for the client.

What is Coaching

I like this definition provided by Positive Acorn, coaching is a relationship between two people in which one party, the coach, asks powerful questions and develops a system of accountability in order to help the other party acquire personal insight and information necessary to move toward a goal.

"Coaching is a relationship between two people..."

The coach and client grant power to a third unit, the relationship.  The client sets the agenda, chooses the goals and determines the best way to reach success.   The coach holds them to these things and acts to support the client's creative thinking process. The client is in turn empowered by the relationship and is able to move forward in achieving their goals.  

"the client acquires insight and information necessary to move in a positive direction towards a goal through powerful questions and accountability."

The coach is there to facilitate a conversation that prompts the client to think in new ways and gain perspective, to help them remember past experiences of success and failure and understand how that information might be useful in the current situation, to assist them in brainstorming next steps, and finally, to hold the client accountable for their action or lack thereof.

What is Positive Psychology Coach?

I am a trained and Certified Positive Psychology Coach.  Positive Psychology is the scientific study of 

what makes life most worth living.  Positive Psychology is often referred to as "The Science of Happiness". It is a call for psychological science and practice to be as concerned with strengths as with weaknesses; as interested in building the best things in life as in repairing the worst; and as interested in making the lives of normal people fulfilling as with healing pathology.

A Positive Psychology Coach is one that has a positive focus, utilizes the benefits of positive emotion and uses the science of strengths to increase the overall wellbeing of their clients.

As a coach, I am trained to facilitate a conversation.  Its my job to help you, the client, gain insight into what is needed in order to move forward with your goals.  I approach the relationship believing the client is the expert on their own lives and that it is more powerful for clients to draw their own conclusions than to be given the answers.  

Coaches work with clients who are whole, resourceful and able generate ideas towards solutions and goals.  If a client experiences depression or other psychological disorders they are referred to an appropriate professional to be diagnosed and treated.  I do work with clients dealing with a psychological disorder as long as they are being treated by a professional and if they are not experiencing the debilitating effects of their diagnosis.

Get it?
Positive Psychology Coaching is a revolution in the understanding of how the study of psychology can support and drive the best things in life and help us to achieve our goals.  It is an understanding that we should put as much attention and energy into identifying and developing personal assets as we do with deficits.  Positive Psychology is a science based on Psychology, Psychotherapy, Appreciative Inquiry and Solutions Focus to help people thrive and live more fulfilling lives.  This is why I have chosen to serve others as a Positive Psychology Coach.

PONDERING LEADERSHIP AND THE CONSULTANT?

Sorry I've been away so long.  I've been in the lab developing curriculum for some new leadership
development programs I will be facilitating.

I had a great conversation with a colleague last night who is completing her Masters in Leadership Studies.  Always a thrill for me when I get to talk leadership with others who have a deep understanding of the field.

We chatted about how leadership development is the new "buzz" term in so many industries.  I've mentioned in the past that if I ask 100 people "what is leadership", I will get 100 different answers.  One of the reasons that leadership development is such a popular topic at the moment is that most seem to understand that leadership is a skill and not a trait.  As such, it can be taught and developed and everyone wants to develop those in organization to drive performance through leadership.  The challenge is that there is a gap between this understanding and how to actually facilitate the development of leadership.

I work with many sport programs at colleges and universities who boast leadership development as a by-product of the sport experience.  For this leadership development to occur it is fundamentally important that program managers understand the development they are trying to facilitate.  This starts with a firm understanding of what leadership is.

Leadership can be defined as 'a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal' (Northouse, 2001, p.3).  First, leadership is a process indicating that it is something we do, an interactive occurrence between leader and follower.  The leader affects and is affected by followers making leadership an interactive process and not a unilinear event.  Leadership involves influence which deals with how the leader affect the followers.  If there is no influence, leadership does not exist.  The third component is that leadership occurs in groups, which provides context for leadership to occur.  The final component of leadership is goals and that leadership is concerned with guiding a group of individuals towards a goal. (Loughead & Hardy, 2004)

I share this info in many workshops so everyone is on the same page with their understanding of leadership.  It's difficult to effectively develop something when the understanding of the subject is wrong or unclear.

In yet another conversation last night a friend could not understand why corporations spend millions of dollars a year on Leadership Consultants.  Upon reflection, I believe that it's one thing to understand leadership inherently or even to understand the definition I have provided above.  It is yet an entirely different challenge to now be able to effectively facilitate an applied, contextual understanding of leadership.

The clients with whom I work benefit from the metaview that I bring to their organization or project.  I have the opportunity to take an objective, high level perspective.  The perspective I take is similar to viewing the organization or project from a helicopter, where I can see things from a distance.  Similar, to a basketball coach who sees opportunities and provides insights the athletes to not have because the coach has the benefit of viewing the game from the sidelines.  I'm not caught up in the day to day tasks, emotions and issues that promote a loss of perspective.

Finally, I think one of the most valuable services that Leadership Consultants bring to an organization is the ability to synthesize research.  Many assigned leaders are mired in the administration and tasks of their jobs and do not have the time, interest or resources to flush out new and improved ways to drive transformational leadership with their constituents.  Leadership studies is interdisciplinary.  Leadership studies takes from Philosphy, Sociology, Psychology, Management, and even Quantum Physics!  There is new research being done daily and new findings discovered daily.  So leadership is a bit of a moving target, the discipline grows on a daily basis.  It's important to have people who immerse themselves in keeping up with new research and findings and synthesizing that information for the practical applied use of their clients.    If not for this kind of a practice we would still be in the dark ages with regard to our understanding and application of leadership.

These are some of the reasons why leadership consultant are an important part of organization and team performance and development.

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - WHAT IS LEADERSHIP?

Recently I had the opportunity to facilitate a leadership workshop for the Specialized High Skills Major students at Oakwood Collegiate Institute in Toronto.  Oakwood is an excellent public school for those interested in strong academics and arts, Oakwood has also boasted one of the best boys basketball programs in Toronto for a long time.

I love facilitating these kinds of workshops.  Each group presents their own unique challenges as I try to facilitate the learning of certain outcomes and at the same time make the session engaging and interactive for the participants.  I find that by the end of a session I've learned as much or more than the participants.

The learning outcomes for the leadership workshops were: 1. develop a clear understanding of what is leadership; 2. connect students with the behaviours of Exemplary Leaders; and 3. do some skill building around the Kouzes and Posner's second law of leadership "Leadership is a Relationship".  The session was fun and interactive and many students commented on how much they learned.  A few students in particular told me that they didn't know what to expect or really understand what leadership was when they signed up for the session.  The session provided them with enough information to drive their curiosity to further develop their understanding of leadership.

I've learned over time that if I ask 100 people "What is leadership?", I will get 100 different answers.  Thus the first and most important learning outcome goal for the Oakwood session.  How can these intelligent, vibrant, creative, inquisitive students become better leaders if they have no clear or accurate understanding of what leadership is?  How many times have you or those you know used the word leader or leadership in a sentence when speaking about someone abilities or lack thereof?  Was everyone in the conversation talking about the same thing?  I hear a lot of educators, coaches, parents and critics speak of an apparent lack of leadership with todays youth and young adults.  If this assertion is true I would point to the fact that there is little understanding of what leadership really is.  We spend a lot of time helping people try to achieve something of which they have little understanding.  Perhaps this is the disconnect that is leading to the perceived lack of leadership in todays youth and young adults.

Leadership is a process whereby an individual influences a group/individual to achieve a common goal.  The points of emphasis in this statement are the words process, influence and common goal.

Leadership is a process.  Therefor it is what you do, not who you are or merely what you say.  It's behaviours that contribute to and facilitate influencing constituents (friends, staff, team, teammates, family, etc) to achieve a common goal.  The Oakwood students identified a myriad of behaviours that contributed to the above mentioned influence.  They spoke of friends they have who motivate them by helping bright side of situations (Encourage the Heart). The students gave examples of how leaders walk the talk and "Model the Way" by setting the example and leading by example.

Leadership is about influence.  If someone influences you, they facilitate a shift or a change from a previous way of being, behaving or thinking.  For transformational leaders, this influence is in a positive growth direction and focused on the betterment of the constituent.  There are also Pseudo-Transformational leaders who carry out a process and influence their followers, but the purpose is not focussed on the betterment of the follower, but rather on the creating an improved situation for the leader at the expense of everyone else.  Trust is at the root of influence.  Constituents allow the leader to influence them.  Power is the ability of one to influence another.  Power and subsequently influence is given and allowed by the influencee to the influencer.  Thus the need for a level of trust to drive influence.

Leadership is concerned with achieving common goals.  Trust is best developed through relationships.  When leaders share their values and beliefs, constituents have an opportunity to decide "Is this someone I want to trust and have influence over me or not?" This means leaders must have clarity on their values and beliefs before they can share them with anyone.  Leaders must also understand the values and beliefs of constituents so that shared values can be developed which lead to common goals.  Constituents have more reason to buy in and trust when their personal values and goals are represented in the shared values and common goals of the organization, team, family, etc (Inspire a Shared Vision; Leadership is a Relationship).  Effective leaders find common ground where everyone in the organization can share ownership and move forward to achieve a common goal.  It's not the leaders goal, or the goal of the followers, but rather an integration of both if the leader truly wants buy in.

There were many more awesome nuggets of learning for me and the Oakwood students.  I thought I would start at the root of understanding the meaning of leadership so that people can effectively practice leadership, develop their own leadership and influence the leadership development of others.

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - SARCASM v. HUMOUR

I experienced a great learning lesson recently about the difference between humour and sarcasm in the
toolkit of the leader.

Sarcasm is generally a "sharp, bitter, cutting expression or remark".  The biggest issue with sarcasm as it pertains to the leader is that it employs ambivalence, which runs counter to one of the leaders greatest skills and tools, empathy.  Humour is "the tendency of a particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement.  Sarcasm can easily be disguised as humour because it often makes people laugh, but the cost of sarcasm is the amusement and happiness of the person whom the sarcastic remark is being directed.  Important constituent relationships can also be damaged or ruined due to misunderstanding the difference between sarcasm and humour.

Sarcasm has always been a big part of my humour.  I grew up with sarcasm as in integral part of humour in my family and with my peer group.  We didn't fight or do physically mean things to each other.  Instead, like lion cubs sparring for their place in the tribal hierarchy we used sarcasm to establish our position.  Growing up my friends and I would throw sarcastic remarks back and forth at each other like a breakdance battle until a winner (and subsequent loser) was pronounced by the crowd of peers.

I've toned down the sarcasm considerably as I've become more aware of that sarcastic remarks can cut deep and hurt people.  However, like all of us, every once in a while I slip and use sarcasm when trying to be funny, instead of humour. While the intention of is to bring amusement and a light heartedness to a situation, it can be lost if the constituents perceive ambivalence, or feel hurt from a comment.

As I work more and more in a coaching capacity and those I serve see me as a source of inspiration, motivation, support and guidance I have learned how important it is for me to temper my sarcasm.  More recently I have really focused on the difference between humour and sarcasm in order to develop a new approach to humour that does not include sarcasm.  I will continue to be my authentic self.  So that includes using humour, because I would prefer to laugh and bring levity to situations.  This approach has served me well, as people enjoy working with me.  I help the team keep things in perspective and see the opportunities, possibilities and solutions when many believe the sky is falling.  However, it is important for me to allow my emotional intelligence to guide me to greater heights than "how have my comments or behaviour influenced the feelings of others" to "how could my comments be perceived by my constituents".  It is also important to understand context when using humour in leadership.  You must understand the situational factors.  Without full information, what is humour to you, could be considered as insensitivity to others.  My advice, when in doubt about context, or when without full info, hold off on the humour until you get more info.

Social media and instant messaging have added new layers of complexity to the dynamics of humour in leadership because intention, inflection and intonation are often lost and/or mis-understood through these mediums of communication.

The next time you are tempted to use sarcasm with your constituents, stop and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does this thought drive negative of positive emotions?
2. Am I bringing positive or negative energy to the situation?
3. Will my team follow my lead? Do I want them to follow my lead?
4. Am I focussing on a solution or adding fuel to the fire of the problem?
5. Would I want my mentor, father or child hear me say this?

You may think that this is a lot to bear on your shoulders.  For better or for worse its the responsibility associated with leadership and the accountability all leaders should take.  I'm always happy for the experiences that lead me to a place of self improvement.  This is certainly an area where my awareness is growing and where I look forward to continued development.

ttheMOVEMENT - TIME TO MOVE

Thank you for taking the time to read a post or think about a post.  Thank you for sharing a post with your friend, colleague, team or audience.  Most of all thank you for commenting on a post, or adding life to a post by starting a discussion with others.

ttheMOVEMENT is a vehicle to share information and insights to help people connect with their greatness, become their best self and move from where they are to desired levels of self-actualization.  The information shared on this blog will also guide how you influence others to do the same.  

Today I request your feedback!  I want you to share your insights, recommendations and advice with me.  I will use your feedback to guide the content on ttheMOVEMENT to ensure that you are being served, while at the same time staying authentic and true to the vision for the blog.  

Here's what I'd like to know:

• How has ttheMOVEMENT helped you?
• Do you have a favourite post?  What was it?
• Which topics do you most like to read about?
• Have you shared any of the blog posts with others?  If so, which ones?
• How do you connect to the blog?  Through Google, Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, other?

I'd love it if you could answer any, or all of the questions above.  Message me or answer directly through the comment section below.  

Thank you in advance for your reply.  Your feedback will help me to take stock of the influence ttheMOVEMENT is having and help to guide the direction of this resource for the future. 

Even ttheMOVEMENT has to move.

Thank you

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - FIVE PRACTICES OF EXEMPLARY LEADERS

After two seasons as Leadership Coach with the Ryerson Rams University Women's Basketball Team we're ready to create the Ryerson Rams Women's Basketball Leadership Development Program that will effectively serve the needs of our program, support the development of our athletes and drive the performance of our team.  Due to the situational nature of leadership, we needed the first two seasons to assess our leadership development needs.  Special thanks to Head Coach Carly Clarke, Athlete Services Manager Leith Drury, all the players, coaching staff and administration who have been instrumental in the creation of this new program.

The program is based on insights from the book "The Leadership Challenge" by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, giants in the world of leadership education and research.  Based on over 30 years of research Kouzes and Posner identified five common practices of leaders who make extraordinary things happen.  They call them the "5 Practices of Exemplary Leaders".

The Ryerson Rams Womens Basketball Leadership Development Program includes important interventions that we've latch onto the Exemplary Leadership model.  These interventions, turn the key and will drive the leadership education and facilitate the learning and acquisition of the desired skills with our athletes.  I won't share those interventions.  That's C15 classified stuff!  However, I thought it important to share the 5 Practices of Exemplary Leaders.

1. MODEL THE WAY
Leaders establish principles concerning the way people (consituents, peers, colleagues and customers alike) should be treated and the way goals should be pursued.  They create standards of excellence and then set an example for others to follow.

2. INSPIRE A SHARED VISION
Leaders envision the future, creating an ideal and unique image of what the organization can become.  They enlist others in their dreams.  They breathe life into their visions and get people to see exciting possibilities for the future.

3. CHALLENGE THE PROCESS
Leaders look for innovative ways to improve the organization.  They take risks and understand that risk taking involves mistakes and failures.  Leaders accept the inevitable disappointments as learning opportunities.

4. ENABLE OTHERS TO ACT
Leaders foster collaboration and build spirited teams. They actively involve others.  Leaders understand that mutual respect is what sustains extraordinary efforts; they strive to create an atmosphere of trust and human dignity.  They strengthen others making each person feel capable and powerful.

5. ENCOURAGE THE HEART
To keep hope and determination alive, leaders recognize contributions that individuals make.  Leaders celebrate accomplishments. They make people feel like heroes.

SUCCESS - YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

This is a blog post from on of my mentors Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener.  I believe that we can learn much from failures, but agree with Robert's assertion that there is at least equally as much, if not more to be learned from our successes.  This approach is consistent with a solutions based approach to coaching and leads to more forward momentum when pursuing goals.  Take a read of Robert's Blog post below and let me know what you think.

I recently returned from London, where I attended and spoke at a TEDx event in Russell Square. TEDx events, like the larger TED events they mirror so closely, are day-long affairs in which audiences are treated to inspiring or provocative short talks. The Russell Square event was no exception. Here, I offer some of the most thought-provoking highlights of the day.

My favorite talk was presented by Paul Z. Jackson. Mr. Jackson offered a single, eyebrow raising thesis: you do not learn from your mistakes. He did not mean to imply that you are incapable of learning from your mistakes but-- rather-- that you needn't bother looking at your mistakes en route to success.

This argument flies in the face of modern sensibilities. These days, people are apt to point to the way that Thomas Edison famously quipped, "I failed my way to success" or to offer platitudes such as "There is no such thing as a mistake; only opportunities to learn." The self-help movement, in particular, has become smitten with the idea that failure and mistakes should be flirt with for their many, obvious attractive properties. 

It is exactly for this reason that I found Mr. Jackson's comments so refreshing. He argued that the only thing that mistakes teach us is what not to do. "Looking to mistakes for instruction," Jackson said, "is like trying to teach surgery by process of elimination. Make enough mistakes and you eventually rule out every bad habit and poor decision." 

Jackson believes that our collective fascination with wrong is primarily rooted in our love of story. Stories in which everything goes right are boring. Because mistakes, conflicts and failures are at the heart of all drama it is these that tend to arrest our collective attention.  

If mistakes are limited in their instructional utility what should we be focusing on in our pursuit of success? Jackson, a professional solutions focus coach and consultant, has an answer. You should be looking at your success! By looking at what goes well, at times where there were few problems, at what you might do if success were guaranteed; these are where the true learning and forward momentum come from, according to Jackson. 

You are under no obligation to agree. Jackson's idea is clearly provocative.  And there you go: that is the heart of the TED philosophy. These talks are not intended to lay out the truth. Rather, they are intended to promote new ideas. Ideas worth considering. Ideas that get under the skin. Ideas over which we can argue. Ideas worth sharing. 

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - I WAS WRONG

"I was wrong" is one of the toughest things for the average person to admit.  It becomes even tougher to admit when there are investments, jobs and other self interests on the line.  It's even TOUGHER to admit in an environment focussed on results over relationships and perfectionism over growth.

Great leaders understand that accountability is part of a successful leadership process.  You want your staff to be accountable for their behaviour?  Model it by taking accountability and ownership for your behaviour especially when you know deep down inside "I made a mistake".

Nowhere in the leadership literature or research does it say that leaders (or anyone else for that matter) are perfect.  Actually, the more human you are as a leader, the greater the opportunity to connect with your staff or team and develop a sense of oneness.

Take a look below at the leadership demonstrated by Lebron James with his teammate Mario Chalmers.    We're human, so we may lose our temper from time to time or even say something we regret in the heat of the moment.  "I was wrong" is a powerful statement for leaders to take accountability and develop connection with those they serve.  Team leadership is a process of influencing a team to reach their common goals.  This demonstration by James models accountability, builds trust and will serve to drive team performance.

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - "FACE OFF" & "MUSIC VIDEOS"

Sometimes it's just fun to be silly, open and vulnerable.  Leaders who create environments where people feel safe to be silly, will benefit from the value of that comes from people feeling comfortable being themselves.  Whenever working with a team, understand that the physiological need for connection drives peoples desire to be part of the team.  Employees leave jobs where they do not feel a sense of connection.  Connection comes when I feel I can be myself and am accepted by the group while being myself.  It's a sense of belonging.  When people do not feel connection, they leave, or even worse they try to adopt the personality and characteristics of someone in the group who is being accepted and who has achieved connection.  This is an example of trying to fit in, instead of belonging.

"Face Off" and "Music Videos" are among several activities we facilitate with our Ryerson University Women's Basketball team for our players to develop comfort being uncomfortable.  Comfort being vulnerable, silly and open.  Once you're silly around your peers a few times, it becomes much easier to just be yourself.

In "Face Off" players go head to head to see who can get the elastic band from above their mouths to their neck only using the muscles in their face.

"Music Videos" is an activity where players pick a song and work together to create their own music video for the song.

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - ABSOLUTE STRENGTH

Went to dinner with some good friends on the weekend.  The discussion turned to their sons.  At different points in the conversation the consensus was that both boys were very hard working and then the opinion switched to both boys being very lazy.

Just like a superhero I threw off my glasses and quickly changed into my Leadership Coach costume and became "Leadership Man!!"  Using my Positive Psychology skills, that enable me to articulate strengths instead of merely focussing on weaknesses, I was able to protect both boys from further scrutiny.

Jason is a third year student at the University of Toronto, Majoring in Sciences and Math.  He holds an above 90 percent average in this very competitive program.  Aaron is a gregarious licensed mechanic, who loves working with his hands and who is now interested in pursuing a career in policing.  According to the parents Jason is amazing and works very hard because he earns a 90 percent at school.  However, they claim he is lazy because he does NOTHING around the house.  The parents claim that Aaron is hard working because he has worked hard to become a licensed mechanic and has saved over $30,000 in his few years working since his certification.  Plus Aaron always helps out around the house.  However, Aaron was a LAZY academic student.

Here's the insight I shared with my friends.  Using my Positive Psychology vision I was able to understand this issue through the lens of Strength Constellations.  According to Biswas-Diener et al., (2011) strengths do not exist in isolation.  This suggests that strengths are not absolute, they don't exist all the time in all situations.  But, rather strengths are relative and work in conjunction with variables like other strengths and situational variables.  Positive Psychology experts believe there is much to be gained by looking at specific pairings and groupings of strengths (Biswas-Diener et al. 2011).

As this pertains to the boys, their strengths emerge when they are paired with another strength.  Jason's hard work is activated when it is coupled with his intellect regarding science and math.  Outside of that constellation, the hard work strength vanishes.  Aaron's hard work is activated when using his hands to create.  Again, as with his brother, the perceived absolute strength of hard work hides outside of the constellation of working with his hands.

So how does this pertain to the leader?

It is important for leaders to work with their team, staff, etc to identify strengths and strength constellations so that leaders can put people in roles to support the effective and efficient achievement of department and team goals.  When we perceive aloofness from staff or team members, many times the reason is because we have identified a strength, but disconnected that strength from the constellation (another strength or situation) that helps to activate said strength.  It become critically important for leaders to go beyond the identification of strengths and now start to analyze the contextual factors that exist that activate a perceived strength.

In the book "Eleven Rings" Phil Jackson demonstrates his mastery of understanding of the context of peoples strengths.  For most of Michael Jordan's career, he was a leader by example.  Jordan's expectation was that teammates take his example and do their best to keep up.  Phil Jackson understood Jordan's constellation was Leadership Power, activated by Jordan's incredible ability to perform at the high standard as a basketball player.  Jackson allowed Jordan to lead using this strength constellation, but looked to others like Bill Cartwright and Scottie Pippen to lead in other ways based on their respective constellations to fill out the leadership needs for the team.

Instead of focussing on the weaknesses of your staff, shift the paradigm, see the strengths and the context of those strengths.  Your job as leader is to create roles that reflect strength constellations and not strengths as absolutes.  Then, find others with other combinations or groupings of strengths for different roles until you have a team that can work interdependently, each using their personal, magical, strength constellation.