LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - WHAT IS LEADERSHIP?

Recently I had the opportunity to facilitate a leadership workshop for the Specialized High Skills Major students at Oakwood Collegiate Institute in Toronto.  Oakwood is an excellent public school for those interested in strong academics and arts, Oakwood has also boasted one of the best boys basketball programs in Toronto for a long time.

I love facilitating these kinds of workshops.  Each group presents their own unique challenges as I try to facilitate the learning of certain outcomes and at the same time make the session engaging and interactive for the participants.  I find that by the end of a session I've learned as much or more than the participants.

The learning outcomes for the leadership workshops were: 1. develop a clear understanding of what is leadership; 2. connect students with the behaviours of Exemplary Leaders; and 3. do some skill building around the Kouzes and Posner's second law of leadership "Leadership is a Relationship".  The session was fun and interactive and many students commented on how much they learned.  A few students in particular told me that they didn't know what to expect or really understand what leadership was when they signed up for the session.  The session provided them with enough information to drive their curiosity to further develop their understanding of leadership.

I've learned over time that if I ask 100 people "What is leadership?", I will get 100 different answers.  Thus the first and most important learning outcome goal for the Oakwood session.  How can these intelligent, vibrant, creative, inquisitive students become better leaders if they have no clear or accurate understanding of what leadership is?  How many times have you or those you know used the word leader or leadership in a sentence when speaking about someone abilities or lack thereof?  Was everyone in the conversation talking about the same thing?  I hear a lot of educators, coaches, parents and critics speak of an apparent lack of leadership with todays youth and young adults.  If this assertion is true I would point to the fact that there is little understanding of what leadership really is.  We spend a lot of time helping people try to achieve something of which they have little understanding.  Perhaps this is the disconnect that is leading to the perceived lack of leadership in todays youth and young adults.

Leadership is a process whereby an individual influences a group/individual to achieve a common goal.  The points of emphasis in this statement are the words process, influence and common goal.

Leadership is a process.  Therefor it is what you do, not who you are or merely what you say.  It's behaviours that contribute to and facilitate influencing constituents (friends, staff, team, teammates, family, etc) to achieve a common goal.  The Oakwood students identified a myriad of behaviours that contributed to the above mentioned influence.  They spoke of friends they have who motivate them by helping bright side of situations (Encourage the Heart). The students gave examples of how leaders walk the talk and "Model the Way" by setting the example and leading by example.

Leadership is about influence.  If someone influences you, they facilitate a shift or a change from a previous way of being, behaving or thinking.  For transformational leaders, this influence is in a positive growth direction and focused on the betterment of the constituent.  There are also Pseudo-Transformational leaders who carry out a process and influence their followers, but the purpose is not focussed on the betterment of the follower, but rather on the creating an improved situation for the leader at the expense of everyone else.  Trust is at the root of influence.  Constituents allow the leader to influence them.  Power is the ability of one to influence another.  Power and subsequently influence is given and allowed by the influencee to the influencer.  Thus the need for a level of trust to drive influence.

Leadership is concerned with achieving common goals.  Trust is best developed through relationships.  When leaders share their values and beliefs, constituents have an opportunity to decide "Is this someone I want to trust and have influence over me or not?" This means leaders must have clarity on their values and beliefs before they can share them with anyone.  Leaders must also understand the values and beliefs of constituents so that shared values can be developed which lead to common goals.  Constituents have more reason to buy in and trust when their personal values and goals are represented in the shared values and common goals of the organization, team, family, etc (Inspire a Shared Vision; Leadership is a Relationship).  Effective leaders find common ground where everyone in the organization can share ownership and move forward to achieve a common goal.  It's not the leaders goal, or the goal of the followers, but rather an integration of both if the leader truly wants buy in.

There were many more awesome nuggets of learning for me and the Oakwood students.  I thought I would start at the root of understanding the meaning of leadership so that people can effectively practice leadership, develop their own leadership and influence the leadership development of others.

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - SARCASM v. HUMOUR

I experienced a great learning lesson recently about the difference between humour and sarcasm in the
toolkit of the leader.

Sarcasm is generally a "sharp, bitter, cutting expression or remark".  The biggest issue with sarcasm as it pertains to the leader is that it employs ambivalence, which runs counter to one of the leaders greatest skills and tools, empathy.  Humour is "the tendency of a particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement.  Sarcasm can easily be disguised as humour because it often makes people laugh, but the cost of sarcasm is the amusement and happiness of the person whom the sarcastic remark is being directed.  Important constituent relationships can also be damaged or ruined due to misunderstanding the difference between sarcasm and humour.

Sarcasm has always been a big part of my humour.  I grew up with sarcasm as in integral part of humour in my family and with my peer group.  We didn't fight or do physically mean things to each other.  Instead, like lion cubs sparring for their place in the tribal hierarchy we used sarcasm to establish our position.  Growing up my friends and I would throw sarcastic remarks back and forth at each other like a breakdance battle until a winner (and subsequent loser) was pronounced by the crowd of peers.

I've toned down the sarcasm considerably as I've become more aware of that sarcastic remarks can cut deep and hurt people.  However, like all of us, every once in a while I slip and use sarcasm when trying to be funny, instead of humour. While the intention of is to bring amusement and a light heartedness to a situation, it can be lost if the constituents perceive ambivalence, or feel hurt from a comment.

As I work more and more in a coaching capacity and those I serve see me as a source of inspiration, motivation, support and guidance I have learned how important it is for me to temper my sarcasm.  More recently I have really focused on the difference between humour and sarcasm in order to develop a new approach to humour that does not include sarcasm.  I will continue to be my authentic self.  So that includes using humour, because I would prefer to laugh and bring levity to situations.  This approach has served me well, as people enjoy working with me.  I help the team keep things in perspective and see the opportunities, possibilities and solutions when many believe the sky is falling.  However, it is important for me to allow my emotional intelligence to guide me to greater heights than "how have my comments or behaviour influenced the feelings of others" to "how could my comments be perceived by my constituents".  It is also important to understand context when using humour in leadership.  You must understand the situational factors.  Without full information, what is humour to you, could be considered as insensitivity to others.  My advice, when in doubt about context, or when without full info, hold off on the humour until you get more info.

Social media and instant messaging have added new layers of complexity to the dynamics of humour in leadership because intention, inflection and intonation are often lost and/or mis-understood through these mediums of communication.

The next time you are tempted to use sarcasm with your constituents, stop and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does this thought drive negative of positive emotions?
2. Am I bringing positive or negative energy to the situation?
3. Will my team follow my lead? Do I want them to follow my lead?
4. Am I focussing on a solution or adding fuel to the fire of the problem?
5. Would I want my mentor, father or child hear me say this?

You may think that this is a lot to bear on your shoulders.  For better or for worse its the responsibility associated with leadership and the accountability all leaders should take.  I'm always happy for the experiences that lead me to a place of self improvement.  This is certainly an area where my awareness is growing and where I look forward to continued development.

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