SUCCESS - YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

This is a blog post from on of my mentors Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener.  I believe that we can learn much from failures, but agree with Robert's assertion that there is at least equally as much, if not more to be learned from our successes.  This approach is consistent with a solutions based approach to coaching and leads to more forward momentum when pursuing goals.  Take a read of Robert's Blog post below and let me know what you think.

I recently returned from London, where I attended and spoke at a TEDx event in Russell Square. TEDx events, like the larger TED events they mirror so closely, are day-long affairs in which audiences are treated to inspiring or provocative short talks. The Russell Square event was no exception. Here, I offer some of the most thought-provoking highlights of the day.

My favorite talk was presented by Paul Z. Jackson. Mr. Jackson offered a single, eyebrow raising thesis: you do not learn from your mistakes. He did not mean to imply that you are incapable of learning from your mistakes but-- rather-- that you needn't bother looking at your mistakes en route to success.

This argument flies in the face of modern sensibilities. These days, people are apt to point to the way that Thomas Edison famously quipped, "I failed my way to success" or to offer platitudes such as "There is no such thing as a mistake; only opportunities to learn." The self-help movement, in particular, has become smitten with the idea that failure and mistakes should be flirt with for their many, obvious attractive properties. 

It is exactly for this reason that I found Mr. Jackson's comments so refreshing. He argued that the only thing that mistakes teach us is what not to do. "Looking to mistakes for instruction," Jackson said, "is like trying to teach surgery by process of elimination. Make enough mistakes and you eventually rule out every bad habit and poor decision." 

Jackson believes that our collective fascination with wrong is primarily rooted in our love of story. Stories in which everything goes right are boring. Because mistakes, conflicts and failures are at the heart of all drama it is these that tend to arrest our collective attention.  

If mistakes are limited in their instructional utility what should we be focusing on in our pursuit of success? Jackson, a professional solutions focus coach and consultant, has an answer. You should be looking at your success! By looking at what goes well, at times where there were few problems, at what you might do if success were guaranteed; these are where the true learning and forward momentum come from, according to Jackson. 

You are under no obligation to agree. Jackson's idea is clearly provocative.  And there you go: that is the heart of the TED philosophy. These talks are not intended to lay out the truth. Rather, they are intended to promote new ideas. Ideas worth considering. Ideas that get under the skin. Ideas over which we can argue. Ideas worth sharing.