LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - HOW DEEP IS THE WATER?

The last LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES post was about Personal Courage.  One contextual factor that  I continually remind myself, coaching and management clients is that sometimes people just aren't ready to engage with their Personal Courage.  Personal Courage is a process as well as a behaviour.  You don't just wake up one day and do it without having practiced, trained and developed the skill.  

Just like your handwriting.  You weren't born able to write your name.  You practiced it.  A lot.  Right now, grab a pen or pencil and a piece of paper.  Write your name on the page with your dominant hand.  Take a look and appreciate your work.  Now put the writing utensil in your non-dominant hand and write your name.  Different or the same? Of course it's different.  You don't practice writing your name with your non-dominant hand so it stands to reason that your skills need work.  Same can be said for developing Personal Courage (or any other skill in life).

The way to practice Personal Courage is to identify opportunities where the risks, consequences, trade-offs and fear are less.  Connect with your Fight, Flight, Freeze response.  Chose to activate your willingness to act.  Like the first time you jumped into deep water, or cold water.  Parents, coaches and educators should look for these low risk opportunities for those you serve to help develop their Personal Courage.  Could be public speaking, acting in the school play, sharing information with teammates, making a presentation at a staff meeting.  

Like any skill it must be practiced to be refined, consistent and second nature.  Practice with these events and the events where the risks are greater will be easier to deal with.  What we're really working on here is growing your willingness to act.  As noted in LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES- PERSONAL COURAGE, the athlete, staff, student, child will still feel the fear, but you would have helped them to develop their willingness to act so that it becomes a habit.  

Until that point understand that the most courageous person you know still only demonstrates their courage on their terms when they developed the necessary skills inventory.  Also understand that stepping to Personal Courage is stepping into the unknown.  We all know how comfortable that feels.  It's an adventure.  So be kind to the person making the step, especially if its you.  Spotlight the first step to help freeze the new behaviour, regardless of the outcome.  Below is a great nugget from a Seth Godin Blog post, share it with your people.

"How deep is the water?"

If it's over your head, does it really matter?

At some point, when the stakes are high enough and your skills and desires are ready, you will swim.

And when you swim, who cares how deep the water is?

[You might find that the deeper water is actually calmer and easier to swim in...]