WHY GOOD LEADERS MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE

What is it that good leaders do that makes followers perform at a high level for the organization?  

Simon Sinek nails it when he says that "Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe".  In this TED talk, Sinek enlightens us on how followers feeling safe inspires collaboration and looking out for each other.  When followers feel threatened, it's every person for themselves and employees do not work together to drive organizational or team objectives.  Sinek shares some best practices of how some organizations have walked the talk of ensuring everyone feels safe.  Sinek also shares the transformational results those organizations have realized.

EVERYDAY LEADERSHIP - LOLLIPOP MOMENTS

Drew Dudley de-mistifies leadership in his TEDxToronto Talk about Everyday Leadership.  The biggest takeaways from his talk is that leadership is not something that you will do when you get older or when you get a title.  It's not something that is so far off that "some day I'll get to it".  Leadership is something all of us can practice everyday through seemingly insignificant acts.  Everyday leadership is demonstrated through acts of kindness like saying "hello" or "thank you".  Everyday Leadership is demonstrated through acts of empathy like offering your seat on the bus to senior citizen.

I teach a college leadership course and am invited to facilitate leadership workshops at different institutions.  While I believe in all the evidence based research about leadership, at the end of the day seemingly insignificant acts of kindness, empathy or connection can have significant influence on a person and inspire them to achieve goals.  The goal doesn't have to be life altering, but can be a goal associated with a general goal in life to like enjoying ones day.

Lately I've been leading off my classes by asking students how they practiced Everyday Leadership over the last week or how someone demonstrated Everyday Leadership towards them.  Drew Dudley calls the product of Everyday Leadership a "Lollipop Moment".  Today a student shared his "Lollipop Moment" when the bus driver let him on the bus even though the student didn't have the money to pay the fare.  The bus driver even gave the student a transfer, in the event that the student needed to change buses at any point.  My students are now doing little things like greeting me when I enter the classroom and asking me about my weekend (I identified this behaviour as a lollipop moment for me, so now they do it every class).  Leadership is a skill.  Like any skill it needs to be practiced to be developed.  I used Drew Dudley's video in my first class of the semester to help students understand that they can practice leadership everyday and improve skills and their awareness of leadership moments.

This week I had a BIG lollipop moment that is really worth acknowledgement.  In a moment of rushing I left my Ipad on a desk in the gymnasium at a local high school I was visiting last week.  I realized my mistake the next morning.  I phoned the school and even drove up to ask any of the custodians if they'd seen my Ipad.  But no luck.  I was disappointed in myself all weekend for my careless action.  Monday morning I received a phone call from the custodian, Ayaz, who was on staff on friday night when I left my Ipad at the school.  In a nice message left on my cell phone he informed me that he found my Ipad in the gym on friday night when doing his final rounds, before leaving the school.  He was in a rush to get home that night, so he put the Ipad in his locker with the intension of calling me first thing Monday morning, which he did.  This was a super-sized lollipop moment.  These acts of "Everyday Leadership" set the example for people and inspire them to act in similar ways.

Have you had any "Lollipop Moments" this week?

WALKING WITH MY DAD

I conducted a little informal experiment recently after observing parents walking with their kids.  I will often see parents walking at a speed faster than their children.  The child has the option of keeping up by walking uncomfortably fast or walking at their preferred speed and lagging behind.

I recreated this scenario with my son.  I would walk at my preferred pace ahead of my son and implore him to keep up.  My son would make a conscious effort to keep up.  He would catch up, then slow down and lag behind and then catch up again.  He would continue this pattern until we reached our destination as long as I was barking at him to keep up.  

I tried the another scenario where I did the same thing, except this time did not offer any instruction about keeping up with me.  In this situation I would walk at my preferred pace and he would walk at his.  I would understandably walk faster than him and the gap between the two of us would grow.

Finally I decided to slow down and meet my son where he was and walking at his pace.  I held his hand and we walked together.  I observed something interesting. Once I slowed down and held his hand, he actually walked faster.  Not at my pace, but at a pace faster than he did when I wasn't holding his hand.  I was walking slower than my natural pace, but not as slow as I would be if I had slowed down completely to his speed.  We were clearly walking together.

This experience spotlighted a noteworthy approach to leadership.  We often spend too much time identifying and focusing on the gaps between where our constituents are and where we want them to be ie. the distance between my son and I walking at our preferred speed.  We share this gap focus with our constituents in the form of feedback. You're walking too slow! You need to walk faster! Keep up! The speed at which you walk is not good enough or fast enough!  However an incredible phenomenon happens when we meet people where they are, and hold their hand to move them forward.  Holding someones hand is an analogy for creating a relationship with a constituent.  It's saying we're going to work together to facilitate your growth. It's saying I'm going to take the time to learn about you and understand you without judgement and without any other motive.  It's an understanding that such a relationship drives permission to influence from the constituent to the leader, so that the leader can influence and stretch the follower to walk a bit faster.  Or in another situation, context or environment, to grow.  Not necessarily at the speed of the leader, but at a greater speed than when their was no relationship, no influence, no meeting the constituent where they are and no empathy.

Focus on the gaps simply drives focus on what a constituent is not, where they are not and sometimes even why they are not.  Influential relationships take the constituents to a new place, just beyond their current place of existence, skill and strength level.  This moves our intention to facilitating progress and growth.

WHAT THE SAN ANTONIO SPURS TAUGHT US ABOUT LEADERSHIP

The San Antonio Spurs put on a clinic in the 2014 NBA playoffs.  A leadership clinic that is. I see so many
things through the lens of leadership.  Every team in the NBA, just like most organizations, is looking for the next great player who can do it all.  A Lebron James who is freakishly athletic, multi skilled and without question the best player on the planet. NBA teams are trying to draft this player, just as corporations are trying to hire this person.  Corporations want the employee who works 60 - 80 hours a week, see's all and do all.  This employee can cover the weaknesses of other employees (especially the leader) and the organization as a whole.  Having this employee or even better a "big three" of these employees makes life easier on the leader.  Why?  Because the leader doesn't really have to lead.

Now let's take a look at the Spurs.  This a team of players who each have an area of strength, but I would argue that there is not one player on the team who can do it all.  Think about it, how often do we come across someone who can do it all?  How often do we see someone who can do it all for an entire career, without burning out?  It's a special thing, that's why it's such a big deal when we see it happening.  Usually we are blessed with a team of constituents who may not be "Superman", but all have an area of strength.  The Spurs model, as I see it, identifies the strengths of their players, develops those strengths and then masterfully develops a system where players can work in their area of strength for to drive performance.  The leaders lead by creating an environment where players are appreciated for the strength that they bring and not judged for the tools they don't. If a situation calls for a different strength, the leadership on the team looks to a player or group of players with the skill set and strengths to deliver what the team needs.  

However before any of this can happen, Coach Popovich creates deep relationships with his players.  These relationships develop trust between player and coach.  This trust is the magic ingredient for players to give over power to the coaching staff.  The important part about power is the capacity to influence that is given by the player to the coaching staff.  When people give that capacity to influence to someone, they are saying, I allow you to lead me.  It's one thing to listen to what a coach says, it's an entirely new dimension to allow a coach to influence you.  Influence leads to change. Listening doesn't lead to change with out influence.  Popovich understands the importance of the player coach relationship to facilitate the influence he needs.  All this creates a culture where players are focused on winning.  Everyone in the organization is solution focused in their pursuit of this goal.

Real organizational leadership involves identifying the skill sets and "strength sets" of constituents and working with your team to figure out the best way to use those strengths to drive maximum performance.  Any kind of real leadership need influence and an environment where the seeds of influences have been planted and are always being fertilized.  The San Antonio Spurs aren't sitting around waiting for a Lebron James to drop in their lap.  They are a model of best practice of identifying, developing, leveraging strengths and creating influencing relationships to drive performance.

SHAWN ACHOR: THE HAPPY SECRET TO BETTER WORK

A good friend sent me this great and funny TEDtalks where Shawn Achor absolutely nails the importance of Positive Psychology.  Achor's speaks to the power of Positive Psychology interventions to "change the lens with which we see the world".  Positive Psychology coaches influence your lens by helping clients to identify & develop strengths, drive optimism, hope, perspective, build resilience & grit to drive happiness in all life domains.

Enjoy!

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES - INFLUENCE

Over the past few years I have had many conversations with colleagues about frustrations they are having
getting constituents to buy-in. Leadership is the process of influencing a group or person to achieve a (common) goal.  Influence is the key word here.  In order for someone to "buy-in" they must allow me to influence them in a way that will facilitate the desired buy in.  This influence doesn't happen because I say so "Trust me", or because it should be so "That's your job", but rather because the constituents allow it to be so.

Influence is a construct of power.  Power is defined as the capacity to influence.  Power is granted by the constituent to the leader for the following 5 reasons. First, I allow you to influence me based on your position, like a manager or a coach.  This is called Legitimate Power.  Second, I allow you to influence me because I like you. This is called Referent Power.  Third, I allow you to influence me because I believe you to have a relatively high level of knowledge and/or expertise as it pertains to the context of our relationship. This is called Expert Power.  Fourth, I allow you to influence me because you can punish me or take something away of value to me.  This is called Coercive Power.  Fifth, I allow you to influence me because you can offer something that is valuable to me.  This is called Reward Power.  Notice, the term "allow" in each definition.  Power is granted, by the constituent, to the leader on the basis of any one of these dimensions or a combination of any or all of them..  Contrary to popular belief.   Think back to some of the great revolutions in world history.  These happened when the constituent took power back from the leaders and refused to grant power any longer.  Truth is that the power really lies with the constituent.

As it pertains to driving buy-in, I would suggest that telling, setting the example or leading by example do not
drive buy-in the way influencing does.  However, influencing is a lot more work because it requires the development of a relationship.  Any relationship definition you read will include the words connection and emotional.  A relationship requires an emotional connection between two people.  Strong, trusting relationships are based on empathy, and an understanding that you are concerned with my best interest.  This understanding is developed through actions and behaviors that drive empathy and trust.  Constituents want to feel like "You get me"; "I've been heard"; "I've been understood"; "My boss/coach cares about me"; "My boss/coach/teammates is looking out for my best interest"; "It is safe to share important things about me to my boss/coach/teammate".  These are some of the behaviors that drive the development of trusting relationships.   When constituents feel they are in a trusting relationship they give power.  When power is given the environment is now set and the path has been paved to facilitate buy-in.

I will be digging deeper into the research on the drivers and predictors of influence and how to develop ones capacity to influence.  I believe this area of leadership studies is a key to driving buy-in with your constituents.  I look forward to sharing my findings in future posts.

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

So, what do you do for a living?  I am a Positive Psychology Coach, Leadership Coach, Leadership Development Consultant and a Professor of Leadership and Organizational Development.  That's a mouthful!!!

I recently had a conversation with an acquaintance who nearly swallowed his gum when I mentioned Coaching as one of the things I do for a living.  After a short conversation with him, I was reminded about the many misgivings about real Coaching.  I thought I would use this post to explain why people work with coaches, the value I offer to coaching clients and the process I use to drive results.

Why people work with a Coach?

A client works with me because they want to take action towards achieving their goals.  They may feel uncertain of what the next steps are, or are experiencing issues at work, or are going through a transition.  Whatever the issue, they trust me to help them work through it.  I have the benefit of viewing the clients circumstance from a distance, similar to a basketball coach who sees the game from the sideline.  This meta-view facilitates objectivity and perspective for the client.

What is Coaching

I like this definition provided by Positive Acorn, coaching is a relationship between two people in which one party, the coach, asks powerful questions and develops a system of accountability in order to help the other party acquire personal insight and information necessary to move toward a goal.

"Coaching is a relationship between two people..."

The coach and client grant power to a third unit, the relationship.  The client sets the agenda, chooses the goals and determines the best way to reach success.   The coach holds them to these things and acts to support the client's creative thinking process. The client is in turn empowered by the relationship and is able to move forward in achieving their goals.  

"the client acquires insight and information necessary to move in a positive direction towards a goal through powerful questions and accountability."

The coach is there to facilitate a conversation that prompts the client to think in new ways and gain perspective, to help them remember past experiences of success and failure and understand how that information might be useful in the current situation, to assist them in brainstorming next steps, and finally, to hold the client accountable for their action or lack thereof.

What is Positive Psychology Coach?

I am a trained and Certified Positive Psychology Coach.  Positive Psychology is the scientific study of 

what makes life most worth living.  Positive Psychology is often referred to as "The Science of Happiness". It is a call for psychological science and practice to be as concerned with strengths as with weaknesses; as interested in building the best things in life as in repairing the worst; and as interested in making the lives of normal people fulfilling as with healing pathology.

A Positive Psychology Coach is one that has a positive focus, utilizes the benefits of positive emotion and uses the science of strengths to increase the overall wellbeing of their clients.

As a coach, I am trained to facilitate a conversation.  Its my job to help you, the client, gain insight into what is needed in order to move forward with your goals.  I approach the relationship believing the client is the expert on their own lives and that it is more powerful for clients to draw their own conclusions than to be given the answers.  

Coaches work with clients who are whole, resourceful and able generate ideas towards solutions and goals.  If a client experiences depression or other psychological disorders they are referred to an appropriate professional to be diagnosed and treated.  I do work with clients dealing with a psychological disorder as long as they are being treated by a professional and if they are not experiencing the debilitating effects of their diagnosis.

Get it?
Positive Psychology Coaching is a revolution in the understanding of how the study of psychology can support and drive the best things in life and help us to achieve our goals.  It is an understanding that we should put as much attention and energy into identifying and developing personal assets as we do with deficits.  Positive Psychology is a science based on Psychology, Psychotherapy, Appreciative Inquiry and Solutions Focus to help people thrive and live more fulfilling lives.  This is why I have chosen to serve others as a Positive Psychology Coach.