THOSE WHO WERE NEVER DEFEATED

I believe leadership is a tool and vehicle to support and drive self-actualization.  Becoming the best you, you can be.  This requires faith.  Not faith in a god or other people, but faith in yourself.  Faith that you can do.  Faith that you can achieve your goals or at least learn valuable life altering lessons from any failures.  The need for certainty kills faith. This need disuades people from their Personal Legend to a linear life of certainty, mediocrity and eventually, "what if?" Believe in yourself.  Have faith and step in the arena of your life. Real courage is putting yourself in a position to succeed, or fail and believing that regardless of the outcome, I am enough and I tried.  Paulo Coelho hits the ball out of the park with the piece below. 
Enjoy! MOVE!

By Paulo Coelho.

Those who were never defeated seem happy and superior, masters of a truth they never had to lift a finger to achieve.
They are always on the side of the strong. They’re like hyenas, who only eat the leavings of lions.

They teach their children: ‘Don’t get involved in conflicts, you’ll only lose. Keep your doubts to yourself and you’ll never have any problems.
If someone attacks you, don’t get offended or demean yourself by hitting back. There are more important things in life.’

In the silence of the night, they fight their imaginary battles: their unrealised dreams, the injustices to which they turned a blind eye, the moments of cowardice they managed to conceal from other people – but not from themselves – and the love that crossed their path with a sparkle in its eyes, the love God had intended for them, and which they lacked the courage to embrace.

And they promise themselves: ‘Tomorrow will be different.’

But tomorrow comes and the paralysing question surfaces in their mind: ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’

And so they do nothing.
Woe to those who were never beaten! They will never be winners in this life.

HOW TO THINK LIKE A LEADER

I came across this article by Jack and Suzy Welch entitled "How To Think Like a Leader".  Without saying as much, the article touches on a "Servant Leadership" approach.  With this approach, the leader serves the followers.  As mentioned in the article, "when you become a leader, success is all about growing others".  Read, enjoy and MOVE!

By Jack and Suzy Welch.

Too often, people who are promoted to their first leadership position miss the point. And that failure probably trips up careers more than any other reason.

Being a leader changes everything. Before you are a leader, success is all about you. It’s about your performance. Your contributions. It’s about raising your hand, getting called on, and delivering the right answer.

When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. It’s about making the people who work for you smarter, bigger, and bolder. Nothing you do anymore as an individual matters except how you nurture and support your team and help its members increase their self-confidence. Yes, you will get your share of attention from up above—but only inasmuch as your team wins. Put another way: Your success as a leader will come not from what you do but from the reflected glory of your team.

Now, that’s a big transition—and no question, it’s hard. Being a leader basically requires a whole new mindset. You’re no longer constantly thinking “How can I stand out?” but “How can I help my people do their jobs better?” Sometimes that requires undoing a couple of decades of momentum. After all, you probably spent your entire life, starting in grade school and continuing through your last job, as a contributor who excels at “raising your hand.” But the good news is that you’ve been promoted because someone above you believes you have the stuff to make the leap from star player to successful coach.

What does that leap actually involve? First and foremost, you need to actively mentor your people. Exude positive energy about life and the work that you are doing together, show optimism about the future, and care. Care passionately about each person’s progress. Give your people feedback—not just at yearend and midyear performance reviews but after meetings, presentations, or visits to clients. Make every significant event a teaching moment. Discuss what you like about what they are doing and ways that they can improve. Your energy will energize those around you.

And there’s no need for sugarcoating. Use total candor, which happens, incidentally, to be one of the defining characteristics of effective leaders.

Through it all, never forget—you’re a leader now. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about them.

GRATITUDE ATTITUDE

There was a big storm last week that caused a power failure and flash flood in our neighborhood. The power failure shut our sump pump down during the flood. The result was a flooded basement. To put things in perspective, our basement is our den. It is a play area for the children, the location of our television, laundry room, storage, 2^nd washroom, furnace and all the children’s toys. Anything that came in contact with the flood water was deemed contaminated to second degree and had to be removed from the basement. This includes the baseboards, dry wall, flooring, furniture, toys, bookshelves, entertainment unit and electronics. Fortunately all the damage and contents are covered by insurance.

When events like this occur it is very easy to focus on what we don’t have. “I don’t have use of my basement, the television”, etc. This is a focus on scarcity, what we don’t have. Brene Brown qualifies a scarcity attitude as one where we don’t have enough. In our case it would be easy to get caught up in not having enough space, enough television to watch, enough toys to play with, you get the picture. This event gave me and the family an excellent opportunity to practice our “Gratitude Attitude” where we focus on what we are grateful for. We are grateful for having two dry floors to live on, our bedrooms and all their contents, our kitchen, our air conditioning and most of all our health and being together as a family for support.

A“scarcity attitude” can lead to a slippery slope of going from I don’t have enough stuff, to I don’t have enough time, I don’t have enough money. Finally the slope gets more pitch as we can start to believe that we are not enough. This is where shame lives and it deteriorates to “I’m not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough. A “gratitude attitude” puts us in a place where we appreciate and are grateful for what we do have, who we are and what we have achieved each day. We’re grateful for the resources (money, time) to achieve the things we were able to do and understand that everything else will just have to wait. You’re grateful for who you are and what you’ve been able to achieve. You may still want to strive for self-improvement, self-actualization and other forms growth, but most important we always believe that we are enough.

Finally it’s one thing to have a “gratitude attitude”, but the attitude on it’s own is only rhetoric without practice. Practice means actually living out that attitude daily. Brene Brown offers some awesome suggestions for practicing your gratitude attitude in the absence of basement floods. I have a gratitude journal, got the idea from Oprah Winfrey 10 or 15 years ago. Every night before I go to bed I make a list of 3 things for which I am grateful. We even have our kids practicing gratitude when they say their prayers at night, but saying 3 things for which they are grateful. Other ideas are creating a gratitude jar, where each day you write a small note of things for which you are grateful and keep them in the jar.

 

MOVE!

THREE LEADERSHIP TRAITS THAT NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE

Great article from Vineet Nayar that recently appeared in the Harvard Business Review Blog.  Nayar speaks to those leadership behaviours that never go out of style.  I believe that these "traits" are skills and can be developed if the leader wishes to grow in these ways.  Enjoy.

When I was a kid, the children in our neighborhood would play in a nearby park every evening. Our undisputed leader was a boy barely a year older than I was, I think. He introduced the new kids to everyone, taught them the rules of games we played, and made sure no one felt left out. We also trusted him blindly because he had our backs whenever we messed up.

None of the leadership lessons that I have learned, unlearned, or relearned ever since have left as indelible an impact as the ones I learnt as a child. Three, in particular, stand out:

Trust: Do your team members trust you? Do they accept that you will, without doubt, stand up for them whatever the situation? Only that kind of trust makes people feel empowered, gives them the courage to innovate, take risks, and to push themselves beyond their comfort zones to find success.

David Maister, Charles Green, and Robert Galford, who wrote The Trusted Advisor, outline four attributes on which to assess your trust quotient: Credibility, reliability, intimacy and self-orientation. Take this online assessment to evaluate yourself on this parameter.

Empathy: Did you notice that look of anxiety as your teammate walked into office this morning? Or did you miss it because you were busy fretting about deadlines? Do you treat your team members as human beings, and not just as workers?

Emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a leadership quality, but being transparent about your emotions isn't. I'm puzzled by the fact that leaders are expected to maintain a stiff upper lip, as the British say, at work. Why can't we rejoice in our successes, or show concern about our setbacks rather than taking them in our stride? Why don't we laugh and cry with the highs and lows in the lives of our colleagues? We are human beings, and knowing that our bosses care for us is a fundamental human need.

Mentorship: No matter how talented we may be, we crave the guiding hand, the mentor who will teach us the rules of the game. Pat Riley, the widely respected NBA coach, once said that there was no great player who didn't want to be coached. The same holds true of work. Would you be where you are today if your first manager hadn't nudged you in the right direction? When people are perplexed about what the future holds for their organizations and themselves, mentorship is critical.

Little did I know when I was out playing in the shadows of the Himalayas that I was learning some principles that would never go out of fashion. At a time when people everywhere are questioning their leaders' values, those characteristics seem to resonate even more.

LEADERSHIP AND "THE PERFECTIONIST"

The Perfectionist creates situations to eliminate the opportunity and possibility of failure.  Perfectionism is like kryptonite to the leader.  It's affects weaken the leaders drive for growth by influencing them shy away from situations of ambiguity, incomplete information, the unknown or heaven forbid not meeting expectations.  The problem with this state of mind is that the true path to personal growth, self-actualization and joy resides in having the vulnerability to make mistakes and grow from the learning derived from those "failures".  Perfectionism is like a shield to protect the leader from the shame of failures.  This shield acts as a numbing agent against the emotions associated with shame.  Unfortunately when we numb emotions, we numb all emotions.  If we numb the emotions connected to shame, we also numb the emotions connected to joy.

So what!! Well, the sustainable root of all leadership comes from "Knowing Thyself".  Perfectionism hurts the leader by not allowing them to take advantage of the discovery based learning that can be derived from being vulnerable.  Knowledge of self helps the leader understand personal strengths, weaknesses and other idiosyncracies.  This knowledge develops mindfulness in the leader so that they understand their emotions and respond, instead of react in situations.  Instead of "Fight" or "Flight" the mindful leader resides in the grey area between both extremes.  The mindful leader scans the situation to take in all the information in order to respond with an integrated solution that is neither "Fight" or "Flight" but rather a synergy of all solutions that best meets the needs of the environment and the participants.  "Knowing Thyself" also supports a second critical leadership foundational skill which is empathy.  The deeper my personal knowlege, the more I can put myself in your shoes, understand your situation or perspective and empathize with you.  My research on Trust in Leadership and Team Performance demonstrates that a leaders ability to empathize is critical in building trust between leader and follower.  This trust in leader drives individual and team transformation and performance.

In Daring Greatly, author Brene Brown presents her definition of Perfectionism derived from her research.  She also includes the effects of a perfectionist approach as it relates to vulnerability which I have connected above to the value for the leader.  Brown suggests that perfectionism is...

Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought:  If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment and blame.

Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because perfection doesn't exist.  It's an unattainable goal.  Perfectionism is more about perception than internal motivation and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much time and energy we spend trying.

Perfectionism is addictive, because when we invariably do experience, shame, judgement and blame, we often believe it's because we weren't perfect enough.  Rather than questioning the faulty logic of perfectionism, we become even more entrenched in our quest to look and do everything just right.

Perfectionism actually sets us up to feel shame, judgment and blame, which then leads to even more shame and self-blame: "It's my fault. I'm feeling this way because I'm not good enough."

THE DIARY OF A LEADERSHIP DEVELOPER vol1

I recently facilitated a team leadership session with a University Women's Basketball team.  I went into the session equipped with an activity I felt would be engaging and facilitate a paradigm shift for the group.  The players were all active participants in the session and they completed the activity as prescribed, but still something was missing.  There was an elephant in the room.  There was an issue with this group that nobody felt comfortable addressing and bringing to the surface.

I left the session split.  My ego was pleased at the level of engagement and active participation.  I was even impressed with some of the insights presented by the group.  The servant leader in me, recognized that while I'd run a successful session I hadn't served the needs of the group.

After a long post session debrief with the Head Coach and considerable reflection I realized that there is no cookie cutter approach to facilitating leadership.  If there was, everyone would be good at it.  Contingency Theory to leadership suggests that there is no absolute correct approach to leadership development, but rather that the approach should be based on the needs of the participants and the complexities of the situation and environment.

I used to enjoy facilitating team leadership with groups I knew would be moved by the knowledge and insight I was able to share.  As I lean into the discomfort of facilitating sessions with groups that have complex team dynamics it is no longer about what I know, but rather how can I make what I know relative to their unique situation and their needs.  This was a stoking revelation that I took to my next team leadership session at a Student Leadership Academy.  I decided to be the "guide on the side", instead of the "sage on the stage" and allow the group to steer the destination of the session.  The result was an absolutely transformational experience shared between me and the participants.  With the exception of the lead in activity, I TOYF'd (Think On Your Feet) the session, trusting my knowledge of the subject matter and my abilities as a facilitator.

These growth experiences are only available to those who are willing to step outside their comfort zones, lean into the discomfort and practice faith over fear.  Relinquish control of the known, for the ambiguity of the unknown.  The known has it's value, however the unknown is quantum in nature, guided by rules while maintaining a sense of chaos.  This "chaordic" world is were greatness lives and where you truly get to "Know Thyself".  Thomas Hobbes professed that you can learn more by studying oneself, than by studying others: particularly the feelings that influence our thoughts and motivate our actions.  Hobbes stated "but to teach us that for the similitude of the thoughts and passions of one man, to the thoughts and passions of another whosoever looketh into himself and considereth what he doth when de does think, opine, reason, hope, fear, etc., and upon what grounds; he shall thereby read and know what are the thoughts and passions of all other men upon the like occasions".

MOVE!

TED

I'm super excited to attend my first TEDTalks conference TEDxToronto - Alchemy. 

Love the concept of Alchemy as it relates to leadership.  Alchemy is the the capability of turning base metals into the noble metals, gold or silver, as well as an elixir of life conferring youth and immortality.  In my opinion, the construct relates to leadership as leaders help people learn how their seemingly ordinary qualities are truly extroadinary and valuable.  Leaders also help seemingly ordinary people do extraordinary valuable things.

I'm a bit of a TEDTalks junkie.  Today I thought I would share with you my top 3 TEDTalks presentations.

#3 - SIR KEN ROBINSON - School Kills Creativity & Changing Eductional Paradigms

OK. So this is really two.  Ken Robinson raises important questions about where we have placed value in education and the impact on creativity, student engagement and appreciating differences.  If you've never seen these presentations.  Take the time to check them out.  Life altering for anyone facilitating learning, leadership, or parenting.

#2 - SIMON SINEK - How Great Leaders Inspire Action

Simon Sinek cuts to the core of prioritizing the roots of actions, by first connecting with purpose.  Instead of "What are we going to do? And "How are we going to do it?"  Sinek asks leaders to start with the question "Why".  He gets us to connect with purpose.  Instead of what and how, start with why.  This is how great leaders inspire action.  This approach connects with audiences and followers at a deep mental and emotional level.  It also offers insight into your vision so that people can follow along and contribute to the master plan.

#1 - BRENE BROWN - The Power of Vulnerability

This is my favorite TEDTalks.  Brown rocked my world with her research.  Everyone I send this to has an "a-ha" moment and connects with her message.  Brown offers what is in my opinion life altering insight into the power of Vulnerability.  Her research on vulnerability and shame unravels the source of true courage, creativity, enlightenment and joy.

MOVE!